I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
