if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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