I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
