That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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