Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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