she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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