I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
