she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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