what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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