Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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