Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
