Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
