I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
