im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
