lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
