So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
