Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
