Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Come on in and take your pants off
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