I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
