My Higher Power is John Stamos
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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