idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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