it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
