Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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