I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
