She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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