I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
