If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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