but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize