I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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