I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I would ride that face into the sunset
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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