i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
