sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
