I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
