I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
