Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize