I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
