it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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