Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
