Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
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