So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
