Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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