I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My ass is underappreciated
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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