The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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