you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She tied me up with her honor cords...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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