i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize