Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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