just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
