I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The struggles of a small town man whore
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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