walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
