I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
