I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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