goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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