so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize