So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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