Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize