Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just had sex on a roof
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
