My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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