Four minutes until I can fart!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize