I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
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i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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