4 words: hood of his car
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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