i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize