Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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