Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize